Living with SAAS: Sudden Age Awareness Syndrome

Lately I’ve noticed that things are moving too fast. Life and its processes are accelerating all around me. The old ways of doing things no longer apply. My technology is outdated, obsolete. My cassettes and LPs sit stoically by, waiting for a revival that will never come. My CDs–once paragons of the new digital age–sit on the shelf, braced for the same fate. Old friends forever young in my mind suddenly appear at the grocery store with bare pates and paunches where sports-flattened bellies used to be. And the babies in their carts? Grandkids. Ebb is no longer an equal partner with flow.

When did this shit happen? Just this morning, I was a merry reveler, fumbling through new found freedom and thirsty for experience. Then, around lunchtime, I was traveling the globe, seeking adventure down every highway, a noble and worthy prince on a sacred mission. Later, at sun’s zenith, I heard my boy utter his first words. Now it’s mid to late afternoon and I’m sitting on my couch enduring the constant barrage of drug commercials, watching with horrified interest, wondering which designer malady will afflict me first. I figure restless legs aren’t such a big deal; I’ll just take a walk. But Lord, bless and keep me from the one which requires two bathtubs by the sea. I wonder when there will be a pill for moments like this, the creeping realization that life is passing you by?

I can see it now:

“Are your dreams slowly vanishing in the rear view mirror? Do you feel ‘washed up’ or ‘quixotic’? Do you have an unusually strong aversion to the idea of texting? Do you find yourself frequently reflecting upon times past and using phrases like ‘back in my day’? If so, you may have a condition known as SAAS, or Sudden Age Awareness Syndrome. Symptoms of this disease include mild depression and short periods of confusion. If left untreated, SAAS may lead to spontaneous, irresponsible, and sometimes dangerous attempts to recapture youth. Ask your doctor if Fukmeva is right for you!”

Perhaps I’m overreacting. The shock is beginning to wear off now. After all, there is a lengthy canon, a long list of quotes and homilies concerning the aging process left by those who have already traveled this road. Before the pre-eminence of pharmaceutical companies, we used words to comfort ourselves. Great thinkers, artists, scientists, politicians–they’ve all weighed in at some point or another because aging affects us all…if we are lucky. And that’s the one thing that artificial panaceas can’t give you: the appreciation that every minute, every day, every year of this life is an endowment, an interest-free loan, a boon beyond measure. It’s hard to remember that fact when your knees give out, but it is the truest thing I know.

So maybe I should turn off the loud, insistent TV and turn to the quiet power of words. There are many well worn shields to choose from when SAAS rears its Gordian head. One of my favorites comes from The Beatles:  ”And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” On this day, however, I’ll try to move forward with the words of Abraham Lincoln: “It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”


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You’re currently reading “Living with SAAS: Sudden Age Awareness Syndrome,” an entry on Donalhinely's Blog

Published:
January 14, 2010 / 3:44 pm
Category:
The Pompous Rant
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